Not so optimistic after all

The next day, on January 23, I was at a “Grand Tasting” for work (What? Your job doesn’t consist of trying dozens and dozens of wines on a Wed morning?) when Dr. Del Carmen called to tell me that the CT scan and blood test showed additional findings: plaque on my liver and a CA-125 score that was borderline at 65. The CA-125 is a test that can determine ovarian cancer. Wait. What? Then why aren’t all women getting this testing done regularly like, say, a mammogram or a Pap smear?  I guess it’s not 100% reliable, but still. Anyway, my score was 65 which is “borderline” for cancer. My mom for example, who had a benign tumor 2.5 times bigger than mine, had a score of 0. As for the plaque on the liver, I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant but I knew it a) explained the pain below my rib cage and b) wasn’t good. We lost all of the optimism we had gained the day before. The likelihood that this was cancer was increasing.

The next few days were just long days of waiting and waiting for the surgery and continuously going over every possible scenario from best to worst case. Rick and I also managed to take a day and go to Mirbeau Spa for massages and relaxation. My surgery meant we had to cancel our upcoming annual Valentine’s Getaway to the Woodstock Inn in VT. So, we improvised. Aside from the veil of a possible cancer diagnosis hanging over head it was still a fantastic day.

Oh and because I am who I am, that weekend we also hosted a party that had long been planned. I just didn’t want to cancel and have to explain to everyone and I thought it would be a good distraction. And let’s face it, I hate to miss a good party. And if this was cancer, who knew when the next party would be.