No news was good news

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A few people have checked in on me lately to make sure I’m ok since I haven’t blogged in a while. Well, I was great…until today.

Now, I’m currently at MGH waiting to be admitted, for what is probably at least a 3 night stay, maybe longer. I am sick and have a fever, which is not good for people going through chemo since I’m immunocompromised. I have a runny nose and I’m exhausted and achey. It is probably just a virus but my white blood cell count is so low I can’t fight it off. I need to be on IV antibiotics.

It’s school vacation week so my parents took Juliette and her cousins away for today and tomorrow. Rick and I had planned a night away at a hotel/spa. It was going to be a 24 hour getaway with the goal of us feeling rested and renewed. Instead, it’ll be MGH for a few nights.

Juliette doesn’t know yet and there’s no need to tell her right away. She’s gonna freak out. I just know she is. I’m just praying I’ll be home by Easter! She still believes in the Easter Bunny and she won’t understand if he doesn’t show up Sunday with a full basket and hide lots of eggs.

So, this is where I’m at right now. I feel like crap and I’m really bummed out. One of my good friends (who recently found out about her second bout with cancer) told me the other day that she admires how positive I am. It was a nice compliment but I assured her that I’m not always positive. There are lots of days where I’m super mad and sad. Today is one of them. I don’t always share those negative feelings. When I’m in a crappy mood I usually retreat and hide it from people. I feel like it won’t do anyone any good to hear me bitch and moan. People like to hear good news. But today, this is all the news I got. A hospital stay and a likely postponement of chemo #4, which was scheduled for Monday 4/22. I don’t know when it will move to. Maybe only a week out if my counts go back up? I was also told I’ll most likely get a neulasta shot with my next 3 chemos. It aids in the generation of white blood cells and rumor has it the bone pain hurts like Hell! This is why I haven’t had it before. But, if it will help my counts and help me stay on schedule I’ll take it!

I could use some prayers and encouragement. Thank you

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Published by drlr3

I'm a 48 year old woman with an incredibly blessed life, who has recently been sidetracked by an Ovarian Cancer diagnosis. Writing about it is helping me cope.

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19 thoughts on “No news was good news”

  1. Sending you love, strength, positive vibes, and hugs! You’ll be in my thoughts this week and I’ll be sending healing energy your way.

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  3. Debi, that does suck! bad timing too!! I pray for a very speedy recovery!! It reminds me of the year Alicia spent Christmas at the hospital in 2006. She had been hospitalized for weeks and on Christmas day got transferred from SSH to the Brigham. Alicia continued to stay in tbe hospital till the end of January. Alicia was a senior at Archbishop Williams and pregnant, at 21 weeks along she broke her bag of waters. I brought her to the hospital and her options were either have an abortion, (not considered for a second), or stay in the hospital till the baby was born. On January 26, 2006, Sydnee Rae was brought into the world. Tragically, Sydnee didn’t survive. Sydnee is buried 5 sites away from my Mom. Years from now you will surely look back on this Easter season as the one when you had the flu in the hospital.. xoxo much love!

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  4. Debi my heart is so with you and I’m sending all my good energy to you, I’ve been thinking of you and your fam so much. You still got this sista! ❤️

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  6. You ARE being so positive and admirable and heroic through this despite the lows and the anger and the sadness. I’m ready to hide Easter eggs and prepare a basket at a mintutes notice so just say the word!

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  9. I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling lousy and going to miss your weekend away. That sucks! When you’re feeling up to it you should pull out your calendar and figure out when you guys can reschedule. It’s good to have things to look forward to…. it helps me anyway.
    As for Neulasta ….i realize everyone is different but I have never experienced god awful bone pain when on it.
    Sending some good mojo your way. Feel better soon! 🙂

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  10. Thinking of you, Debi. It seems like sickness should know to stay the #&#% away! You had a schedule to keep and a night away to enjoy. Is that part of the lesson, breathing and going forward day by day – even when it sucks? I don’t know. I hope Neulasta works well for you and isn’t painful. We’re sending tons of love and healing thoughts your way!

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