Chemo #5 (try reading that without thinking of Mambo #5)

I realize I haven’t blogged in a long time and I guess that’s a good thing. I’ve been busy with normal life! I had my 5th (and second to last) chemo treatment on Monday May 20. Both Dr del Carmen and my nurse Elizabeth had birthdays that week (I found this out when we realized we all had May birthdays) so I brought them fancy chocolates and Juliette made them each cards thanking them for taking such good care of her mommy.

Usually, the chemo area is pretty quiet. Most of the time, we each sit in our own little area, with our curtains drawn and we don’t pay too much attention to the people around us. But this day was atypical. One woman had her newborn granddaughter visiting. Though the curtains were drawn the new baby certainly made her presence known. I overheard talk of breastfeeding and sleep schedules, which was like a trip down memory lane. And later, a group of older men came in to visit their friend. We couldn’t help but overhear that they were all cops. Unfortunately their conversation wasn’t full of riveting police drama. Rather, one of them was trying to convince his skeptical friends that sushi is in fact good. All of the commotion made the day go by faster.

As for my post-chemo days, they were probably my best so far. The nausea has escalated as the cycles progress (I have meds to help with that) but I had more energy than usual and less pain and numbness. At least I think I did – it’s possible I’ve just become accustomed to it. At any rate, I was feeling well enough to celebrate my birthday on May 26 and I finally got away!

We went to the Woodstock Inn in VT (all 3 of us) and had an incredible time. The weather was gorgeous so we spent time at the pool, hiking to a waterfall and at Killington’s adventure center. Zip lining and mountain roller coaster riding are not conducive to hats or wigs so I went fully bald in public for the first time. It was liberating! We also spent time in the Inn’s old school game room where Juliette beat me at checkers and Rick kicked my butt in Pacman. And of course, we had some amazing meals at our favorite place (Worthy Kitchen) as well as Simon Pearce. Juliette was fascinated by the glass blowers. It was truly a magical 49th birthday and one I will never forget. My sister also reminded me that I’m one of the few people she knows who is actually looking forward turning 50. Ha!

I’ve been in good spirits and I feel good. I’m nearing the chemo finish line (June 10)! Yet, I can’t help but think about an 11 year old local girl named Maddie who passed away from cancer last week. I didn’t know Maddie, or her family, but she attended Juliette’s school and the whole town knew about her brave fight with cancer. As I continue to pray that I will be able to watch my daughter grow up and grow old with my husband I am reminded how fragile life truly is. Why should I get to beat cancer and a sweet 11 year old girl with an entire life ahead of her shouldn’t? It just makes me realize how random cancer really is. It can strike anyone at any time. Often cancer loses, but sometimes it wins.

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