Shiny Happy People

So, I took Luna to Angell Animal hospital the other day because a mass she had removed from her hip last year has come back. It’s benign – but it’s infiltrative so more complicated than any of us would like. I told the Dr I was relieved it wasn’t more serious because I previously lost 2 vizslas to different kinds of cancers and he dryly joked “you must have been a serial killer in a former life”. I laughed.

But it made me realize how truly lucky I am to be a glass half full person by nature. I mean, if I were to really think about my dogs dying of cancer, my 2 different kinds of cancer, losing Owen and my experience with infertility etc, I guess I could think maybe it’s karma.

But that’s just not how my brain works. I’m certainly not the only person who has gone through tragedy. Everyone suffers. People lose loved ones, suffer poverty, get divorced, get sick, feel alone, suffer addictions, lose jobs etc all the time. If tragedy was all I could focus on my mind would be a terrible place to be. And believe me, I know there are people who don’t see past the pain and I know many of them truly can’t help it. I just consider myself lucky (and maybe blessed?). I don’t really have to try to think positively. It comes pretty naturally.

I’m sitting here in the oncology infusion bay at MGH getting my Avastin and all I can think of is how far I’ve come! Since that first day of chemo, when I bawled uncontrollably and that kind woman (whom I still think could have been an angel) told me I’d be ok, to sitting here today. I feel like a pro! This infusion is just a mild inconvenience in my day, once every 3 weeks. Like I said to Rick earlier, “It’s such a gorgeous day. I wish I didn’t have to go. But hey, it’s gonna keep me alive so I’m game”.